Thursday, June 5, 2008

Cherry Popping is Fun

So this is all very new... and interesting. Scratch that. This is fun :)

A little about me... I'm a junior business major at an Ivy League institution and , my summer job options are looking drab indeed. Ok I'm kidding myself. They're just about nonexistent at this point and time. Well I suppose there's one dimly shining light at the end of this choking tunnel. Dimly being the operative term. But alas, I don't want to jynx it. It's what June 5th and the elusive job offer from this respectable company is driving me up the wall. They keep calling and promising that I'll know soon. I'm like damn please hurry it up. My life needs to start (and yes a summer internship, especially THIS SUMMER is my life.) yeah i know there are kids in Africa starving, shit there are kids around the corner starving, but none of that compares to the weight this summer will hold on my shoulders at least until i'm sitting comfortably at my six figure (close to six figure??? hehe) full time position in about a year's time. and you do realize that unless i actually work somewhere slightly impressive this summer the likelihood of the aforementioned happening is highly unlikely. peep the paradox. the fucking paradox. Seriously. I think I may be losing my mind. I want to say that I'm a pretty emotionally guarded gal and yet I actually woke up this morning shaken, tears in eyes and all! I mean all you hear is how this summer will utterly define you and blah blah blah. And I believe it. And yes I'm a little envious (hence the green. well its my fav color too. and the staple color of Lehman... ::insert tear::) that some of my friends are in NYC as I write this, beginning their summer at some of the most revered institutions on Wall Street (noticed i said revered and not wise, since these same institutions and their greedy and speculative ways are the very reason the sub-prime market is in shambles and the same reason they lessened their internship pool and couldn't offer a job to me!!! damn Vault guide books prove worthless now. i want my money back. hmph.) Ahhh friggin parenthesis. should be called the 'and i digress thingies' or 'ramble onsetters'. whatevs.

Anyhoo. If you couldn't tell I am UBER stressed. I need a plan! But 1st I need to ponder how I ended up in this position. Did I not get my resume checked like a million times by my school's career advisors and even people in the industries I wanted to enter? Did I not hustle my lil ass off emailing and networking those well connected individuals in the corporate world who offered nothing but positive feedback of my accomplishments, etc...? Did I not and still continue to get positive feedback from my interviewers? Like WTF!!!!??!!?!? O to the MFG!!!!! Which leads me to believe that either they're all liars or every other candidate on God's green earth is better than me. I refuse to believe the latter, that ev1 is better than me, so maybe God has a another plan for me. Well clearly. I get it.

I just need to figure out what is, but in the mean time God please grant me this internship so that I have secular meaning while you (and I) work out the greater more spiritual goal in my life. Ummm... Amen! :) :( :0


the oh so frazzled one

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