Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I'm BACK! for all the wrong reasons.

Scandalous!

It's been a while. Ok let me stop explaining like I actually have a constituency.

Now I could update you with my life or go off on one of my usual whimsical tangents about life or fashion or randomness. But nahh.

Something more important has happened. This month the 4th and I think the most KICK ASS season of BAD GIRLS CLUB aired! ::pumps fist::


You may wonder why the use of "the Ashley's" Recess reference (see pic). Well because this season is more a bunch of classic Mean Girls, than the normal super trashy reality show dim wit (see Jersey Shore, any VH1 Reality show with "Love" in the title).


The third episode came on last night which prompted the following email exchange betwixt me and a friend. It's a bit long, but if you want a pretty thorough overview of the girls and this season. Indulge. Be a Diva. Enjoy!

....................................................................................................................................

so im watching bad girls now

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Kenya Anne Williams

to me

show details 4:14 AM (5 hours ago)

omg flooooo! "fake! fake!" ::as she goes over annie's/kate's face:: "FAKE AS HELL! FAKE AS HELL!!"

and why is flo's name so stereotypically italian/mafia-like? oh she's from jersey. no wonder she's like that. i love it.

lmao at kendra and natalie's relationship. but she wants that rich dick so i guess that's why she succumbed.
amber has no personality.

lmao kate is so...and why the fuck is annie in the house? and portia if she was reckless 5-6 years ago? how do bishes get on this show? what did they do like submit past mugshots or something

DEAD. annie just walked in to apologize to flo: "so if you want, we could throw a dinner party"

annie is so weak and sensitive. she seems like the type to blow up. but she's very intuitive and tries to make sense of everything.

amber and her stupid ass insights all whispering in the confessional tryna come off all deep and shit. "i think kendra doesn't know how to be kendra now!" big fucking lightbulb amber! bitch sit down.

ahhhh i can't. and i'm still mad natalie tried to defend her friendship with kendra "i been helping her out, tryna hook her up with my best friend, tryna find her better weave". ignance. ignance!

what's up with this division between the "classy girls" and the "trashy girls"? bishes yall all the same if you're on the fucking show. kate and amber are trying to be as prim as annie, but they are not annie. they need to step back and stop trying to be above er'body. its more like a division between prissy white bitches and everyone else. oh and portia. she's just a floater.

oh no at the preview! portia! lmaooo.


Kenya Anne Williams
Cornell University, B.A. Sociology '09

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Morgan James

to Kenya

show details 9:12 AM (3 minutes ago)

omg Kenya I am in LOVE with this show!

But first let me run down my list:

HOW DID THESE CHICKS GET ON the SHOW?

· They ain't bad! Like the only two that qualify are Flo (Miss Staten Island) and that crazy ho Natalie. Omg I loved her brother "You are out of control!!!" Lol he sounded so over her shenanigans.

· Annie. Oh Annie. Annie is way too insightful, makes too much damn sense, and is too NICE to be on this show??? "Let's have a dinner party!" smh. I agree with you. Methinks the producers thought she would make good prey for the other girls. But I loved her in the first episode. Natalie claimed her and she went into straight survival mode and was kind of playing Natalie on the low. Too funny!

· YASsS! Portia shouldn't be on the show either. She's not that bad with her extra proper grammatically correct ass. It's like if my mother (English teacher extraordinaire) went and had some secret love child in the southern MidWest and left her in the hood to fend for self. Portia is a black valley girl with street cred/issues. But she does have good confessional insight too. As intuitive as Annie.

· Natalie - Bitch is CRAZY. I half way think she is acting because her brother sounded shocked by the way she sounded. Be that as it may... I loved her comments: "I'm trying to be her friend. Hook her up in Hollywood. Try to find her some new weave" LOL I mean she does have the best weave on the show. Kendra, Kate, PORTIA take note.

· Amber - those damn insights... leave the thinking to Annie "Where's the real Kendra!?"

· Malibu Kate - She's tan ... and bleh.

· Flo - My dad was cracking up when they left her and immediately got scared once they realized that was the worst decision ever. You know you're a true psycho bish when hoes are shaking in their boots awaiting your arrival cause they know they may have upset you. A MASS. She hood though. She hood.

And yess. The cliques. The house division always happens so quickly. I agree with you. The white girls forming their little classy trio/clique. ::gag my throat:: Amber you're not classy. Kate you look like if Lindsay (circa 2007/ post 2003) and Paris (circa whenever) bumped std infested cooters and voila... Malibu. They're trying to be on Annie's level. They can't be on Annie's level! They can't. Annie brought a suitcase full of diuretics and knows how many calories are in 3 grapes. They can't compete.

And if anything Kendra is probably the classiest (said understanding classy is a term thats gets 99.9% of its usage from delusional reality show chicks. Classy and Fake owe their fame to these hoes. I miss Milan "ya plastic, ya plastic, ya plastic." at least she was inventive with hers), which leads me to that compromised/conflicted ho Kendra...

WHY IS THIS HO HERE?!?!

If she's bad then so am I!! Crying because someone is alluding that you're fake. Or as Amber with her oh so insightful remarks put it "walking the line. if thats the case do you know what’s wrong or right??". (I woulda been like "yeah. bitch you aint right") Now maybe I would have cried too. But that’s why I am not on the show! Kendra you should have slapped a ho or 2. Leave the diplomacy and the not burning of bridges to the Real World. smh... I don't understand the casting. But I appreciate it lol. This is the best season since Season 2 with Tanisha's "ya bumbaclot/ pop off son!" ass. It may even be better! It is better!

And finally my favorite quote from last night's episode:

::insert lots of emotion and held back tears::

"I want to be like 'These are my bitches, Fuck ya'll,' but every time I say "These are my bitches, they say Fuck Kendraaa!'"

::insert her sighs and tears ...and my LAUGHTER::

smh... Kendra I feel your pain girl. You've been the mean chick before "[your] life in the house" (Why are all of these girls already reformed bitches. I thought you were supposed to come crazy. I digress...). You've been betrayed by a hoe. You betrayed a few hoes. We've all been there. I get that . And I think you're my favorite one in the house despite your sometimes lack of a backbone and willingness to be Natalie's side ho for some lame D List connections, but WHY did you just do a 5 min soliloquy all in THIRD person? Like why.

--
Morgan James
Cornell University '09
Applied Economics & Management

"The secret of success is constancy to purpose."
~Benjamin Disraeli

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