Sunday, February 27, 2011


Happened upon King of Prussia mall yesternoon with a pal on a shopping "recon mission".

If you don't know that's espionage short, also known as previous Alias viewer/obsessor lexicon for reconnaissance. I needed to do a bit of tactical field due diligence slash mentally stalk the hell out of some pearl post earrings at Tiffany's and the 'Charlton' crossbody bag from Michael Kors.

Some people call it 'window shopping,' I call it delayed gratification. Like really, potato, po-tah-to.


Craving Indian cuisine all week, I built my day around ordering takeout from Tiffin after a quick jaunt to Nordstrom's, Madewell, various URBN Inc establishments, Michael Kors, MAC counters, Borders, etc... Ya know, a quick jaunt.

as all strenuous and rigorously physical activities promote,
I became prematurely hungers. Totally efffing up any idea I had of saving my appetite for mah Tiffin. FAIL.

We halt our sartorially inspired secret agent (wo)man duties and change course towards the food court where we find ourselves disappointed for two reasons:

  1. Nearly all of the Cinnabon's in the Philadelphia area have gone to that magical place where fairies and unicorns reside and Ciara's live like Beyonce's and my tiny friend has been going through severe withdrawal ever since. For serious. It would come as no surprise if she asked us to road trip to the Maryland House rest area off of I-95 just to bite into 1000-calories of glorious diabetic cardiac arrest one mo' 'gain.  FAIL.
  2. I wanted Chick-Fil-A. The line was too long. I wanted a slice of pizza. The location was being reconstructed. As Taco Bell's line was nonexistent and their store front fully assembled, I settled on that. How one soft Fresco taco, one hard taco, and one small drink came to $5.48 I was swindled! I will never know. Ain't they supposed to be the on the cheap option! This ish ain't no Chipotle. Ain't no Distrito. So yes. FAIL
While we're sitting in the food court surprisingly enjoying my fresco steak taco, of course we're also keenly people watching and throwing shade and laughter at the mall persons.

Things We Seent Whilst Being Basic And Eatin' The Taco Bell:

  • There was that girl who looked like a less stylish Zoe Kravitz I love her. You know? She had that "I don't care, I does what I wonts with my ethnically mixed hair" vibe going on. Example. Oh wait. No, no. This example is better. 
  • Then there was that couple who looked like brother and sister. They both had round bellies and boobs/moobs. And cute little cherub faces! Like two of these! Actually, they were slightly inspiring. They were probably the only couple holding hands while strolling and doing that loving gaze into each other's eyes adoringly thingy. You know, that thing. I applaud their love.
  • Oh! and then there's always that noisily obnoxious girl who's wearing tights and fur boots and a fur vest from Lady Z Boutique with faux eyelashes and the most wretched of crunchy 36-inch blonde weave. It didn't look like this or this or this, in all his Amber Rose inspired fierceness. Her spirit even audaciously moved her to rock Dior shades and at first I contemplated their authenticity, but then I thought it would not have mattered if Christian rose from the dead and hand-crafted those spectacles himself as a personal favor, she still resembled a tangible materialization of my worst nightmare. 
Lastly there was a motley crew of barely teen boys who looked like something out of a Cool Kids video. I mean the look is sort of overdone and a bit 2008, but there was one kid who was standout. His demeanor was totally Diggy Simmons infused with Evan Ross. Like the anti-uber nerd/prep aesthetic. The anti-Street Etiquette. I loved it! It was refreshing. Well as much as a 22 y.o. can love the style sense/affect of a child.  Apparently all of the little thirteen year old girls thought so too because they gaggled and swarm our area to do their interpretations of flirtations. It was all very Degrassi, last generation.

Yet, as I ate meh 35% 80% imitation Mexican fare I was increasingly inspired to take a picture of the kid and blog that ish. My friend, always with the zingers, proclaimed something along the lines of me being that creepy person in the mall taking pics of the chirren and ending up on TCAP. I laughed. Was a bit unnerved. And obliged because ain't nobody trying to meet Chris Hanson in the name of fashion inspiration.

We headed over to the other side of the mall to check out the sale rack at Urban Outfitters. Don't be hatin' on our sage frugality. Because that see-through back-less cotton whimsical fairy dress is going to be $9.99 in three months and you'll be crying your little Williamsburg tears that you spent $78 on it all in haste. And most importantly Urbn Inc sells plenty of their out of season merchandise to your local en vogue consignment shops. Be a smart shopper. Well we drove over. T'was too far. 

So we're all up in the Lehigh alum's trendy thrift store dream realized, perusing through the latest hipster trends and who do I run into again at the checkout??? My little hybrid Diggy Ross!

This time I waste none, and dismissing my friend's exaggerated sighs of "Oh here we go" I tell the kid I dig his look and that "I have a blog" and a pic is needed. Demanding Requesting that mi amigo hold his shopping bag; indulging my inner diva director. I'm sure she threw me shade via a death glare, but she held the bag, so ha

And ugh, I know staging an impromptu photoshoot in an Urban Outfitters is as contrived as one can get, but this was the third time I'd seen him and well. Whatevs bitches. 

After "the shoot," we exchanged tumblr addresses. How new age of that? and then mutually chucked the deuces. 

Pleased with myself, me and my friend laugh. I notice the sales associate at the checkout smirk with intrigue and we shuffle on over to the Borders in hopes that their "Store Closing" sale meant that a medium latte would be 80% off too. Well the entire cafe was closed, so no. Times be that hard. FAIL. 

Although my appetite isn't back by this point, I still order and pick up my Indian on general principle GP. I couldn't finish it all last night, so right now I am about to enjoy some left over samosa, naan, and lamb coconut curry. Oh mah gah, all types of for the win.

And if you're interested in seeing little Diggy Ross, then CHECK HIM OUT. 

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